Dawn Mileham honors son by competing in gymkhana, an equestrian event consisting of speed pattern racing and timed games
Dawn Mileham has always had a knack for speed and an affinity for horses.
Put those together and you have gymkhana, where riders put their trust in their horses to run through a series of quick turns and maneuvers. A perfect combination for Mileham, an administrative assistant in the Lab’s Radioactive Hazardous and Waste Management program within the Weapons Complex and Integration Directorate.
“Gymkhana is great for building the bond and partnership between horse and rider,” Mileham said, adding that horses need to understand and respond to certain cues and commands during competitions. “Gymkhana requires 13 speed and skill events to be run as cleanly and quickly as possible, so you definitely need to have a strong connection with your horse.”
Mileham began working with horses at a very young age in 1979 and credits her friend for getting hooked on gymkhana in 2009. Her friend invited her to take part in a clinic where a trainer was giving lessons in gymkhana. She began taking part in the sport on her horse named Wysper who retired in 2021 due to injury. Currently, she is only competing on a horse named Girls Got Rhythm, Peewee for short, while Wysper enjoys her well-earned retirement and Mileham rides in memory of her son, Jonathon.
Mileham quickly raised in the ranks both locally and throughout the state. On the local level, she serves on the board for District 6 California Gymkhana Association (CGA) out of Livermore. Since the team has not been able to have any events since 2020 she travels to other districts around the state including Lincoln, Vacaville, San Juan Batista and Chowchilla. She also serves on the state board of directors for the club and travels to Visalia three times a year for board of director meetings and state finals in Hollister in July for nine days. Mileham also is a carded judge for CGA and helps judge shows.
She runs in the second fastest division and has won several prizes including a saddle, bridles, buckles and gift cards.
“One of my most memorable rides I’ve had was during a show called Aloha Days in 2018 with Wysper,” she said, adding that she won a saddle at that event.
In addition the connection with the horse, Mileham said her favorite aspect of the sport is the support and camaraderie of all her friends that support her. She also said she enjoys the rush she gets prior to the start a competition.
“It is somewhat scary as you walk in the gate,” she said explaining about the competition. “My horse is very ready to get to work, so she can be a bit of a handful. The most important thing is for me to stay out of her way and let her do her job. Micromanaging doesn’t work with gymkhana. I am definitely out of breath as I come out of the arena.”
A strong bond with her son
She introduced her passion to her son Jonathon at a young age and he grew up sharing that close bond with his mom.
“My son was raised with my horses,” she said. “He referred to Wysper as his little sister — he was an only child. As an adult, when he was struggling, he would go out to the ranch and just spend time with them.”
Jonathon had attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and as an adolescent was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Mileham said he struggled so much and tried so hard, but his disease led him to suicide at the age of 22 on July 4, 2013.
“He always came to my local gymkhanas to cheer me on. I think he only missed one,” she said.
Remembering Jonathon
Since Jonathon’s suicide and before the pandemic, Mileham participated in the Oakland and San Francisco “Out of the Darkness Walks” sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
“I still participate but virtually on the back of my horse,” she said. “I have my hair colored purple and teal, which is the Suicide Awareness colors. I have been able to have conversations with people standing in line at stores asking about my hair. Breaking the stigma of mental illness and suicide is a passion of mine. You never know how hard it is until it affects your life so profoundly.”
Mileham said the key point she offers to those impacted by suicide is to try hard not to blame yourself.
“It is very hard and I still struggle with it after nine years,” she said, adding that those affected by suicide should to try to do things that they would love to do if they were still here.
“Honor their memory and remember that they didn’t want to die, they just wanted the pain to stop,” she said. “They never meant to hurt you and if they knew just how much you love and miss them, they would have stayed.”
Her advice to those dealing with mental illness is to not suffer in silence.
“It may feel like you are alone and your mind is probably telling you that no one cares, but they do and you are so loved and you are so worth helping,” she said. “Reach out to anyone, don’t self-isolate and don’t give up. It may seem like it will never get better, but it certainly can and will.”
Milehan suggests journaling one good and beautiful thing each day, “so that when you are really suffering, you can read about the things that make life worth living,” she said.
“My horses have gotten me through the hardest days in my life and have always been there for me,” she said. “The sport of gymkhana is made up of very supportive people who become lifelong friends. My friends in my division are cheering me on as much as I am cheering them on. We help each other ride better and hold each other up when we need it.”
